As a child, I spent hours in the graveyard near our home, talking to gravestones and finding peace in death and solitude. The world often felt porous. Sometimes, I knew things before they came. Sometimes, I saw what others didn’t.
 

This life started our Catholic but somehow, I never believed that God lived alone in the church.  My direct experience allowed me to know the Divine in the wind, in the ants that climbed the trees, in the hush between things. I wanted to be a nun. Not because I understood theology, but because I felt longing and love. I didn’t yet comprehend what the Church was preaching, I only knew what I felt in the rituals and the way people opened their hearts.
 

When I was eight, a Buddhist woman came to our house and meditated in our living room. I asked her to teach me, but she didn’t. Still, something in me ignited. I started creating altars in my bedroom, tearing pages from National Geographic of temples, mountain ranges, and monks. I didn’t know what meditation was, but I sat in silence anyway.
 

Yoga came in my teens. So did The Power of Now, Ram Dass, and psychedelics. I dropped out of university, hitchhiked, slept under the stars, and chased something real, something untouched by culture or convention.
 

Over the years, I was initiated into various plant medicines and psycho-shamanic traditions through various elders and lineages. Cacao, ayahuasca, San Pedro, and other sacred medicines cracked me open, bringing me back into contact with the unconscious, the ancestral, and the subtle realms. These experiences gave me language for what I had already known as a child.
 

Eventually, I realized that peak experiences weren’t enough. I needed something steadier. So I turned toward discipline: silence, fasting, meditation retreats. I became a yoga teacher. I started living in spiritual communities. I began my Kirtan Sadhana and through Bhakti and mantra, I softened into devotion.  Eventually I discovered Atma Vichara and Mooji Baba and earnestly pursued the path of self-inquiry.  This led to a natural and easeful blending of Jnana and Bhakti Yoga.
 

Around 2014, I found my home in a remote tantric ashram in Northern BC, where I lived for a decade. It’s where I met Bhairav, my partner. Where we built a life around sadhana and service. I started yearly yatras to India, receiving teachings and darshan from saints and masters I could never have planned to meet.  Tantra inspired my study of the body, the earth, and trauma.  Through the guidance of Guruji Maharaj and Shivoham Tantra, I began a ten-year mantra japa sadhana that continues today.
 

In 2016, I began studying with Ellen Emmet and Rupert Spira, whose presence and teachings grounded the non-dual understanding in direct experience. Awareness was no longer something I visited. It became what held the fullness of life, grief, joy, stillness, parenting, partnership, the body.
 

And then came the wildest sadhana of all: becoming a parent.
It undid me.
It made the teachings real.
It asked me to love with no exit. And to meet myself in the places I’d still been hiding.

Now I offer what I can from this place, not as someone who has arrived, but as someone who’s walking with you.

Here. In the middle of it all.

Stillness and mess. Longing and love.
And the remembrance that even this… is That.